


Used to Be Mine

by SugarsweetRomantic



Series: The Affliction of Lucy Preston [1]
Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 15:31:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17583518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarsweetRomantic/pseuds/SugarsweetRomantic
Summary: Lucy reflects on who she's become.





	Used to Be Mine

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read my 'The Downfall of Bridget Westfall' series, you have an idea of what's about to happen.  
> If you haven't, well...my username is a lie.

_ It's not simple to say / That most days I don't recognize me / That these shoes and this apron / That place and its patrons / Have taken more than I gave them _

 

Lucy wasn't always like this. Before she was sucked into these missions, before Rittenhouse started directing even more of her life than they had apparently already been doing, she was different.

Softer. Kinder. 

Happier. __   
  


_ It's not easy to know / I'm not anything like I used be, although it's true / I was never attention's sweet center / I still remember that girl _

 

Not that she ever truly was happy before. She enjoyed teaching, that much is true, but her life revolved around taking care of others. First, looking after Amy while her mother worked. Then her mother needed emotional support after Henry’s death. After that, the diagnosis. Looking back, she had less free time before all hell broke loose than she does now.

Still.

Happier. __   
  


_ She's imperfect, but she tries / She is good, but she lies / She is hard on herself / She is broken and won't ask for help _

 

She never liked chaos. Her files were in numbered folders, colour-coded by era. Her keys had a designated spot on the hall table. She even took handwriting lessons, but to no avail. Cursive never became her forte. She learned to live with that though. When your mother, your idol, falls terminally ill, suddenly a lot of things that seemed big issues before become trivial.

Funny.

Still.

Happier. __   
  


_ She is messy, but she's kind / She is lonely most of the time / She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie / She is gone, but she used to be mine _

 

That Lucy is gone now, and she wouldn't know how to get her back. She's not even sure it's even possible. Sometimes she has to remind herself that she's human, not some faceless entity in an interdimensional war. She's more than her knowledge of American history, more than her ability to speak French.

Funny.

Pathetic. __   
  


_ It's not what I asked for / Sometimes life just slips in through a back door / And carves out a person and makes you believe it's all true / And now I've got you _

 

She's not strong, like the others. Not powerful like Flynn, or Wyatt, or Denise. They can handle themselves in a fight. She's not smart like the others. Not intelligent like Rufus or Mason or Jiya. They figured out how to travel through time. She's weak. She repeats facts from history books like a dubious encyclopaedia. She's a liability.

Pathetic.

Stuck. __   
  


_ And you're not what I asked for / If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back / For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two / For the girl that I knew _

 

The alarm goes off.

Stuck.

 

“Let's go.”

 

She can't exactly leave, can she?

 

Stuck.

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics from She Used to Be Mine by Sara Bareilles.


End file.
